Why I Hate My Apple Watch
Updated: Jun 30, 2018
When I began looking into getting an Apple watch, it seemed like an endless list of positive benefits. I own a restaurant, so I am always on my feet, walking around. I don't have the time to stop and check my phone, least of all to sit down and actually read emails on my computer! I am a woman, so I wear a lot of clothing that doesn't have pockets, (On a side note, designers really need to put pockets in women's clothing. Being forced to carry a purse is bullshit.) which means that I have nowhere to put my cellphone. I am also a model with an agency and many clients in other countries, which means that I receive extremely urgent calls and emails at all hours and need access to them. Hence, the Apple watch being extremely desirable! To think that I could make phone calls from my watch, receive texts, updates on my health, text messages; What's not to love?! I purchased the watch, took 24 hours to connect all of my accounts, and I was all set.
I woke up and strapped the watch to my wrist. I chose the image os Earth, like the one you see when you're on an airplane and they're showing your projected flight path. But, out of nowhere, my watch buzzed to let me know that I wasn't breathing properly, or was I breathing too much? I have had anxiety issues since I was in high school, and most of them stem from me feeling like I'm not breathing properly. Here my watch was, to remind me that even when everything is going fine, this little arm strap could send me into a state of panic. Do I need to breathe deeper? Now I'm breathing too deep and getting dizzy. Shallow breaths? Buzz - "Now you're in workout mode". Heart racing. Fuck you, watch.
So, the watch tracks how many steps you take, how long you stand, & your state of rest, (which is something about breathing that I don't really understand) whether you want it to or not. It buzzes to tell you to stand up. It buzzes to tell you to breathe, along with a prompt asking if you'd like to (essentially) meditate at that time. In he middle of work, it would do this. It buzzes to tell you that you've achieved your goals. I'm sure there's a simple way to stop it from tracking your body, somewhere in the cloud, along with everything else that I can't seem to get to function properly (and all the college pictures I keep trying to erase forever!), but I do not have any time. I mean that. No time at all, so I persevere with my judgey watch.
A watch that tracks calories burned and steps taken, that seems doable. I do work out and I'd like to be more aware of my body, as I am currently totally and completely oblivious to it. I don't even weigh myself unless I'm at the doctor. So, I take it to the gym, work out for an hour, and it says that I've burnt a hundred and forty calories... This can't be correct. I tell my friend how frustrated I am that I only burned 140 calories after sweating my ass off and he asks if I set it in workout mode. What? No. If this thing is supposedly tracking my heartbeat and knows everything about me, why doesn't it know when my heart rate is consistently elevated for an hour that I'm doing physical activity? So, I work out with it on "work out mode" and low and behold, I've burned almost 600 calories! Same workout. I begin questioning whether it's really tracking my heart rate at all, or if it's just designed to seem encouraging for fat Americans who are trying to get fit. I tested my theory, setting it on work out mode and not working out for an hour. It wasn't 600 calories, but it was almost 400 calories, supposedly burned by me doing nothing. I see you, watch.
I'd like to comment on the standing ring, but I've never worn my watch and not closed my standing goal, because I own a restaurant and do nothing but stand all day. Yes! An attainable goal!
When it comes to receiving texts and phone calls, my watch alerts me when it feels like it. Once, I left my phone at home and went to the store. It buzzed and I was able to answer the call (though, I'm not wearing headphones 24/7, so I always answer on speaker-watch which is pretty lame and offers zero privacy- also guaranteed to make anyone around during the time of the speaker-watch-phone-call hate you). I have also had my phone on me, ring, and my watch did nothing. Sometimes I get texts, and sometimes I don't. So, mine has not been a device that I can depend on when it comes to communication; a big deal breaker when you consider that this is why I purchased the watch.
Within the first few days that i had the watch, I went to the salon to get my hair done and my hair dresser, Shanna, said, "Those aren't good for you". I was taken aback. "What?! Why?!" For some reason, this thought had never crossed my mind. Any time we introduce something new to society, it is met with open arms because most of the negative effects take years to develop. Smoking, heroin, cocaine, video games, cell phones; the list goes on... these were all considered healthy when they first hit the market. Now, we are learning that radio waves being transmitted through your brain are not healthy. What will the implications be 10 years from now for receiving blue tooth and cellular service on your wrist, right over important arteries? What about relying on a buzz to tell you how to breathe, when to stand, how many more calories to burn. I felt a bit like a lab rat, being buzzed constantly. It's not like a phone that you an just ignore the buzzing of. This is a physical stimulant that you have to respond to. I would even relate it to pavlov's dog. if I wore this thing for a year, what implications would that have on my responses to it. Am I setting the watch, or is the watch training me?
I'm not a person who is innately against technology, but I do agree that every time we add a piece of technology that provides a human skill, the human loses that skill. Thanks to GPS, no one can read a map. Because of cell phones and calculators, no one can do math. I haven't memorized anyone's phone number in years because I don't have to. How many kids do you think can tell time in today's society? Call me old-fashioned, but I've decided to go back to the old school, nothing technological watch.
Do you feel this way? Does my insight change your perspective at all? I want to know what you think about the Apple watch. If you agree that watches should remain time-telling devices and not computers, treat yourself to a new one! I spoke with a company in Singapore called KLASSE 14, and they are offering 12% off any of their watches for my readers this week (I bought the black Volare Rainbow)! Just use the code WhitneyANTM at checkout!