Instead of knocking other people down for their choices, let's try to celebrate our differences. I have some controversial opinions that I have formed since becoming pregnant. They are just my opinions. You probably won't agree with them... And that's okay!
1. I don't want to have a vaginal birth. There! I said it. I know that I CAN have a vaginal birth, but the more research I do, the less interested I am.
I know what you're thinking. "A vaginal birth is better for the baby!" but, is it? Many times, the baby's clavicle has to be broken in order to fit. Sometimes, the umbilical chord chokes the baby. And if you have complications, you're going in for an emergency c-section, which is much more dangerous than a planned one! Is it truly better for the mother and baby, or is it cheaper for the insurance companies because you can give birth and walk right out of the hospital in your bloody diaper and relinquish them of extra fees?
I'm going to say something more selfish here... I also don't want to ruin my lady parts! You are 50% more likely to become incontinent after a vaginal birth. You have a 90% chance of "ripping" which sounds extremely painful and like sex is not going to happen for a VERY long time. Vaginal birth can also lead to extremely painful sex and, though I haven't personally experienced it, it's my understanding that some of your internal lady business will now be external.
I'm not saying this because I think it's right, or smart, or better in any way. I just know that if I have the choice, I want a C section. Maybe I will change my mind before the big day, but right now, I don't see any reason to give birth any other way. I would like to not have to wear diapers before I'm 60. As a woman, I think we put up with enough injustices and if we can create babies, grow them, and get them into the world without wrecking our vajays, doesn't the world owe that to us? Why are we still giving birth like animals if we have the choice?
Don't get me wrong. I have friends who have delivered not just vaginally, but without any medication and they are superhuman. I have mad respect for these women. I just don't think that this is my journey. If you see it differently, can you try to explain it? What am I missing? Please, help me understand why I would ever want a vaginal birth because I'm just not getting it.
2. I am having a vegan pregnancy and will raise a vegan baby. Gasp! I understand the stigmas around veganism because I was not vegan for most of my life and I constantly made fun of vegans. However, results speak louder then words and with my Mother's auto immune disorder going into remission since she went vegan, my Father's cholesterol dropping to normal with no medication, my brother having the same results as well as weight-loss, and my personal experience, I can't imagine any healthier way to raise our baby.
Another little tidbit in my "reasons I'm vegan" is that everything you aren't allowed to eat when your pregnant is not vegan. So, I'm not missing any foods by being pregnant! Also, does it bother anyone else that we are allowed to eat all this shit when we're not pregnant? We can even give it to our children when they're old enough, but God forbid we feed our fetuses hot dogs and soft cheese?! I hate feeling like a fetus has more rights than me. And on that note, did you know that smoked meats (bacon, pepperoni, hot dogs, etc.) are a class 1 carcinogen according to The International Agency for Research on Cancer? That means that they are proven to cause cancer! I don't know about you, but I ate bologna, hot dogs, and pepperoni every day as a kid! Oh, and red meat has been deemed a "probable carcinogen," meaning that studies show it "probably causes cancer."Why are we allowed to eat this shit at all? When cigarettes were listed as a class 1 carcinogen, Mothers had to quit smoking. I mean, smoking is banned almost everywhere now! But smoked meats, which are also proven to cause cancer, just like cigarettes, are given to us and our kids freely! No, bitch. You can't eat sushi even though you have a *ZERO percent chance of getting parasites from it, but snack away on that proven cancer-causing bacon!
*Any sushi served commercially in America is required to be frozen before it is served raw. This kills all parasites. Even the "freshest" sushi fish is frozen first here.
3. I don't want my body to change. I know. I shouldn't say things like this and I certainly shouldn't feel this way. When a friend is pregnant and feels insecure, I'm the first person to reassure them, "You are creating a life inside of you!" For some reason, I'm having a lot of trouble doing that for myself. I have spent the last two years losing almost 100 pounds, and I know that now, I'm about to gain most of that back. This terrifies me for some reason.
I have read many blogs of mothers who gained baby weight, had all the wobbly, stretchy skin, and now they write things like, "I wish I would have spent more time enjoying that body." I think that's insulting. You only love it now because you don't have it. It's so easy to say how you loved your floppy belly, now that you've miraculously re-gained your six pack. How many nights did you cry because you hated your body? Did you let your husband see your skin like that?
Learning to love our bodies is a process and it took me 19 years to even pretend to like mine, along with a never-ending journey of ups and downs. I don't have a perfect size or weight. I don't even weigh myself now. I just know that not being able to see my toes is going to make me feel insecure. I also know that after the baby comes out and my entire mid-section looks like a deflated Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade float, I will feel insecure and unattractive. It's such a ridiculous stigma that we are supposed to create a life and then be a flat tummy size 4 two weeks later (I blame Victoria's Secret for this). It is not realistic and not possible without surgery, which is dangerous right after giving birth. I look to people like The Bird's Papaya for healthy expectations. She is not afraid to show a little loose skin and stretch marks, and still be sexy. Battle scars and tiger stripes, as I used to call them before I was pregnant. My body will never be the same again, and it scares me so much.
There. I said it. What about you? Do you have any fears, opinions, or thoughts that many around you don't agree with? Please share and help me feel less crazy!
Your raw honesty is my favorite thing about you! Your birth story is yours dont let anyone convince you to do something else or feel guilt about it. When I lived on the west coast 3/4 of my friends I knew had their c sections scheduled by the time they hit 4 months prego. Growing a life is definitely the hardest thing I ever did. cuz I'm with you... I did not want to "lose" my body. And NOBODY told me my tits were going to go from a DD to a saggy b. *sad*. Two things I want to tell you that no one told me: post partum depression is real and scary. I had it with both of…
1. I went in with the opposite mind set as you when it came to giving birth - I wanted to try a vaginal birth. I was devastated when I was “too small” down there for his giant noggin to fit through and they prepped me for a C-Section. But I went through with it and honestly, looking back, I am so so glad I did it that way. I mean, yeah my internal organs felt like they were going to fall out every time I coughed for the first few days from the area they stitched me up. And yeah, I bled for a month and a half straight after (despite popular belief you bleed for a longer time…